I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
