So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
