i just google imaged poop.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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