You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
