I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
