So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
