The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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