youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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