My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
