Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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