I don't usually arrange sex via text message
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
