Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
