I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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