hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
