bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
