yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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