You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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