Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Congratulations! We have a period
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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