I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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