What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
