I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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