I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
