people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
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