So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
the raccoons are back...
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