You're a womanizer and a bitch.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
