I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
