i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
