you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
