It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
