hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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