its not stalking. its research.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
