Got a toothbrush?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
