I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
