Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
