I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
