Who wears a wallet chain?!
Its about making memories worth repressing
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
