sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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