From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
