im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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