Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
honey bunches of taint.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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