saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
