That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
