Tell her she can't have a vagina
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
