you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
This show inspires me to have sex in space
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
