Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
