Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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