my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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