are you so shy because you have an std?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
