if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Randomize
