Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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