these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
