with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
