operation have a gay friend backfired
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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