Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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