how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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