I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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